Keirik Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Didnt get chance for either so obviously im a cranky s.o.b. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keirik Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Besies, im a ritzy Nassau popo, we do cronuts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vodka Drunkenski Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 High maintenance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keirik Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Lol speaking of high maintenance, ive been at a location for 3 hours at a bac intersection closing it off for a down pole, wires, etc and making everyone go one direction. The amount of stupidity where people cant figure out they cannot go this way, need to go south, etc is mind boggling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phillyb Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 i have no idea where to put these...but these are some stories of mine the first - the jack/john story about how i met my current girlfriend. this story is roughly 4.5 years old. edit - for reference, i was still living in cali when i wrote this. also, this was copy/pasta'd from my phorum where the word "now" becomes "meow" - it's a cat phorum... this is gonna be long...deal with it. i have a co-worker named john (not his real name). a few months ago, he moved in to my apartment complex…two fucking doors down. whatever. he’s whatever. his dogs are whatever. but i’ll be nice to him, i’ll get a long with him. whatever. he has this gf, let’s call her jack (cause that’s how she’s listed in my phone just in case he’s ever looking at my phone…lololol). they’ve been together for 8 months. i’ve never seen any sort of chemistry between them ever. fast forward to the weekend, he breaks up with her. he and i are talking about her, and he tells me that meow she’s either moving to san diego or to pennsylvania…so i ask him, wtf??? pa? he says he doesn’t know where. doesn’t matter. he’s been giving me rides to work, which makes this even more interesting. i send her message next day through facebook asking, “san diego or pa?” she sends me friend request, meow i can see her pictures. yay! fast forward another couple of days, and i invite her over to my place for dinner. i had made tons of food for my friends and i, and i umm…wanna put my penis in her. she sends me message with her number and says call me. first thing i say, is come over, be careful of john, bring a bathing suit, we’re going in the hot tub. she comes over, stays until like 2am, my friends left at like 12. no, i didn’t do anything, except set up the next day. i said, you better be here tomorrow, and bring some clothes, cause you ain’t leaving. this was last night. she spent the night, at one point the conversation in the bed happened like this…”i need to move this body pillow from between, let’s cuddle baby.” hahahahhaha. i get woken up by john. he calls me and says, “IS JACK IN THERE” i lie to his face about 3-4 times and he leaves. i try and go back to sleep, this was 6am. at around 645, he’s at my window/door yelling for her. “JACK, JACK, JACK…I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE, I CAN SEE THE REFLECTION MOVING ON THE DOOR. JACK, COME ON…I JUST WANT TO TALK.” so i have to wait more. at this point, i’m wide awake, gtar was texting me, jack and i are cuddling, john is going nuts at my door. i wait…don’t hear shit for 10 minutes, and i bounce from my apt. jack’s like, “i’m sorry.” phillyb™ replies with, “i love drama baby.” i get to fucking work, and within two minutes of me being there, he comes up to my office and starts asking me more shit. “phil, why would her car be there? what would she be doing? my mind is racing.” i try to explain that i can understand what he’s going through, having just gone through a break up myself and having to deal with the fact that my ex has moved on to a new bf and shit just happens. and i gotta deal with it. one of the things i failed to mention about an earlier discussion outside my apt was the phrase, “i don’t know whether or not to break your face, phil.” so, in my office, he says something similar. “phil, i want to trust you. half of me does, half of me doesn’t. i want to know whether or not i need to strangle you.” so i say, “john, i’ve sworn up and down about 8 times this morning that she’s not in my place. i’m not having sex with your ex-gf and she didn’t spend the night. i would be concerned with her safety if her car is still out there. have you tried calling her? does she have any other friends in our building?” so meow it’s the afternoon, shit has dissipated. i’ve told a couple of co-workers who don’t like john. i trust them. they think it’s hilarious. so you might be asking where in pa she’s gonna be cause you were paying attention to the story, and because you know i’m moving to pa. i learn that she’s going to be in east stroudsburg which is about 60 miles from me. she will have no car. i said, “ok jack…ok new gf. i will kidnap you a lot and bring you to my dad’s place. we can hang out with my cats and hang out with big gay al.” big gay al is my dad. yes a south park reference. so tonight, i’ma go test drive a miata, and then i’ma call my new gf, jack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phillyb Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 4011 - stealing shit is bad. whatever tip - when using self checkout, put your items on the scanner and use code 4011. it's for bananas. bananas are normally like .67/lb. that means you get to ring up your shit based upon weight. protip - make sure the items you're placing on the scanner have the barcode facing AWAY from the scanner. story - jack and i went to the grocery store the other day to fetch a pail of water. wait...fuck. jack and i went to the grocery store the other day to get some nyquil and some other shit. two items total. we place the items on the scanner and ring up some bananas. we paid 40 cents for 15 dollars worth of shit. my nyquil had a fucking magnet on it. self checkouts do NOT demagnetize these items. we leave the store, and the alarm goes off. neither of us hesitate, we just continue to walk. the car was parked at least 200 steps from the door of the store. we continue to walk, i rip off the fucking magnet (obviously too late at this point) and continue walking to the car. the security guard comes after us, but doesn't really say shit and doesn't hustle like a good worker should. we make it to the miata, i fire up the car, we bounce. i look back at the parking lot and i see the security guard waving his hand at me. i won't go back there for a while. later that night, i needed to take a shit somewhere, i found a different grocery store and shit in the women's bathroom. haters gonna hate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phillyb Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 and sammich then i went to the grocery store to get some food. i have them make me a sammich (yes it was delicious). i take my sandwich to the already crowded lines (no express lines open...wtf). finally, it's my turn to pay. my card doesn't swipe. odd, i've been coming to this grocery store for 3 years meow, why wouldn't it work today? so the cashier puts a plastic bag around the card and tries that. no luck. i ask, "can you manually enter it in?" cashier says, "no." i said, "ok, well i'm not leaving without my sandwich." i grab my sammich, and card, and say i'll be back tomorrow. i work literally right across the street and go into this grocery store about 3-5 times a week. i walked out without giving the cashier any time to answer. i don't run. i just walk. i get halfway across the parking lot, the cashier finally comes out and says, "you know what this means, right?" i said, "no." he said, "you can't come back." i said, "ok," then ate my sandwich. it was delicious. http://i.imgur.com/FqVzmvl.png Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphinity 2.0 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 i have no idea where to put these...but these are some stories of mine the first - the jack/john story about how i met my current girlfriend. this story is roughly 4.5 years old. Damn dude. That's beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phillyb Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Damn dude. That's beautiful. lol thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 epic for the win bro!! xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phillyb Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 epic for the win bro!! xD how many internets do i win? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keirik Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Today just feels like a total Led Zeppelin day to me. Not sure why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High and Wide Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Today just feels like a total Led Zeppelin day to me. Not sure why. Maybe the weather. I was listening to Zep 3 on the train this morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vodka Drunkenski Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Been dazed and confused for so long it's not true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keirik Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I was listening to Zep 3 on the train this morning. speaking of trains and Zep III There is a train that leaves the station Heading for your destination, But the price you pay to nowhere has increased a dollar more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphinity 2.0 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I seriously had the same thought this morning. I had Misty Mountain Hop stuck in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keirik Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 That's it, Kashmir now lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abe Froman Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 When the Levee Breaks, I'll have no place to stay. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuhgeddaboudit Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 A year and half later, and I still have the headaches that I was bitching about last year. I've been to so many doctors for this headache. Now currently seeing neurologist and I've taken almost every single medicine out there. Muscle Relaxants, antidepressants, anti-convulsants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siddious Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 A year and half later, and I still have the headaches that I was bitching about last year. I've been to so many doctors for this headache. Now currently seeing neurologist and I've taken almost every single medicine out there. Muscle Relaxants, antidepressants, anti-convulsants. That's like me and my stomach. I have really bad acid reflux and nearly constant stomach pain. Been to numerous doctors. Tried various medications and nothing seems to help. It's at the point where I don't know what to eat and keep my portion sizes to just a few bites. Such a crappy feeling when even doctors can't figure you out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnnydollaz18 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 A year and half later, and I still have the headaches that I was bitching about last year. I've been to so many doctors for this headache. Now currently seeing neurologist and I've taken almost every single medicine out there. Muscle Relaxants, antidepressants, anti-convulsants. I had the same problem, saw my doctor, was prescribed amitriptyline for it and the headaches are a lot less frequent now. Have your doctors tried those for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 A year and half later, and I still have the headaches that I was bitching about last year. I've been to so many doctors for this headache. Now currently seeing neurologist and I've taken almost every single medicine out there. Muscle Relaxants, antidepressants, anti-convulsants. I had really bad migranes about once a month that were completely debilitating, but then I started taking vitamin B12 which helps with your body balance and I haven't gotten one in a while now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuhgeddaboudit Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I had the same problem, saw my doctor, was prescribed amitriptyline for it and the headaches are a lot less frequent now. Have your doctors tried those for you? Took those, didn't help. I'm on gabapentin now. And Jimmy, I'm actually taking those currently but I hear they take months to realize an effect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuhgeddaboudit Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 And even worse news, we might have to put my dog down :( She has diabetes, 11 years old, her liver is bad. They want too much for hospitalization, we're all miserable right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphinity 2.0 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Sorry to hear that man, that's terrible :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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