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This is a Rangers fan


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Splitting wood: check (my neck is borked so she can split mine)

Cricket: check (I will tweet her a photo of my cricket bat, maybe that'll work)

Surfing: check (def. a few shareable surfboards here)


She probably has the flatulence of a Wildebeeste


Flatulence: check


Answer to the original question: No. Quite perfect enough.

But damn she's got more teeth than my dog. What a set of gnashers!

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