Moronic Statuses From Facebook Friends

[Mike]

Okay, my turn to start something off the wall. Everyone has at least 1 idiot FB friend that posts 98 times a day about stupid shit, can't spell, can't put words together correctly in a sentence, etc ... I have 1 friend that could fill this page up in 45 seconds but I can't delete him because I can't stop reading his ridiculous posts that would give Phil a stroke by 1pm. No names, just copy and paste.

 

Man..let me tell ya.....where ever I go....somebody ask me "sir may u be so kind..may I have a cigarette "...like an asshole I say "YEA SURE BUDDY HAVE TWO".... tonight...some Indian ask me for a cigarette ...I sad " YO DOT BOY...HOOK ME UP WITH A DOLLAR ILL GIVE U A SMOKE.....AND THE BASTARD WAS THE ONE WHO SOLD IT TO ME".... THESE FUCKING GUYS COME HERE MAKE MORE MONEY THEN WE DO...THEY PAY NO TAXES...LET ME TELL YA " GOD BLESS AMERICA"...WHAT AM I DOING WRONG

[Fuhgeddaboudit]

I wish I had that guy added as a friend right now... more posts like that = instant morning gratification

[Mike]

I wish I had that guy added as a friend right now... more posts like that = instant morning gratification

 

His page is open to anyone. You wouldn't believe some of the shit that goes on. This is mild. I can't even post the ones from the election.

[Fuhgeddaboudit]

To join in on the fun, here is the total jackass on my FB:

 

IF YOU BLAME OBAMA YA BROKE WELL ANIT HIS FAULT! CALLED MANAGE INVEST AND BALL UP !

 

 

About Hurricane Sandy during the election:

fuck the debate America is over once New York is hit! There is no more USA idc what you say ! New York runs the hole nation in about everyway! Instead of worrying about who the next president fix NEW YORK UP!!!!!!

[Jules]

http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/62/85/410c11313164ed47d26581c23bdbde7a-your-in-america-speak-english-sticker.jpg

[Mike]

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Pete]

LET'S GO GIANTS !! !!!

[Dunny]

I have slighty retarded FB friend who's staus just yesterday read: i fuckin h8 fb rats who evr keeps telling my bitch of a wife where I am I sriosly gonna beet the shit out of them.

 

 

Hahahaha

[Fuhgeddaboudit]

I have slighty retarded FB friend who's staus just yesterday read: i fuckin h8 fb rats who evr keeps telling my bitch of a wife where I am I sriosly gonna beet the shit out of them.

 

 

Hahahaha

 

That's actually awesome haha

[Pete]

I have slighty retarded FB friend who's staus just yesterday read: i fuckin h8 fb rats who evr keeps telling my bitch of a wife where I am I sriosly gonna beet the shit out of them.

 

 

Hahahaha

 

Did he post this after checking in at the bar?

[Phil]

http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/62/85/410c11313164ed47d26581c23bdbde7a-your-in-america-speak-english-sticker.jpg

 

[Mike]

Another gem

 

WOW!!!!!..my rep must suck....I'm at the supply house at six in the morning .....I walk in all rounded up.....these guys swear I just got home from the city..... NOT.....people stop judging a book by its cover...and worry about yourself and not talking about other people.....one more thing what's on my face book its all about making people laugh....and my networking for NYC NITE LIFE.....SO STOP CALLING PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSE TO ME SAYING " IS SAL OK...I THINK HE HAS A FEW SCREWS LOOSE"....JUST CALL ME 551-265 -2386"..I'm GONNA TELL U I DO..AD THAT'S Y I'm BETTER THAN U....." HAVE A GOOD DAY AMERICA.....

[Pete]

Another gem

 

I'm calling this guy right now.

[Mike]

I'm calling this guy right now.

 

hahahahhaha

[Patrick Bateman]

Pretty much every facebook status is retarded

[Jules]

 

This is amazing. Gotta love BuzzFeed. :D

[Ranger Lothbrok]

I thought this was funny, a friend of mine:

"Whichever one of you fucknuts at work stole my vintage Star Wars Dagobah lunchbox, I have a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you..."