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Thread: Which Would You Rather Fight — Land Edition

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    Which Would You Rather Fight — Land Edition

    In the wild, no weapons, no rules. To the death.

    A. A grown male lion
    B. A grown male polar bear
    C. A grown male silver back gorilla


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    2eZ.

    Polar bear. He'd likely be suffering from malnutrition and heat exhaustion due to climate change (getting warmer, food is scarce).

    He'd be lethargic, giving me better odds.

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    a male lion, generally pretty lazy especially compared to a female, most worried about teeth, my choice. gorilla silver back super strong, teeth, notoriously bad tempered. no way i want the polar bear with those claws teeth size, plus fighting on ice snow cold. want no part of bleeding wounds and shredded clothing when it’s minus twenty
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    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    a male lion, generally pretty lazy especially compared to a female, most worried about teeth, my choice. gorilla silver back super strong, teeth, notoriously bad tempered. no way i want the polar bear with those claws teeth size, plus fighting on ice snow cold. want no part of bleeding wounds and shredded clothing when itís minus twenty
    Fight location wasn't specified. ;-)

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    It was implied via "in the wild."


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    "Everyone says you should be a good loser. If youíre a good loser, youíre a loser."
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    "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence."
    - Christopher Hitchens

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    The premise of this is sexist.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phil in Absentia View Post
    It was implied via "in the wild."


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    Nope.

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    Polar bear can take down a Grizzly, and despite what Captain Planet says above, population is doing better than fine.

    I'll go with Lion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pete View Post
    Nope.
    Yup. "The wild," implies "habitat."
    "Everyone says you should be a good loser. If youíre a good loser, youíre a loser."
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    "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence."
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    I'm taking the gorilla. If I'm going to die, I think I'd rather get my head bashed quick and knocked unconcious instead of the alternative of getting shredded open by claws and teeth.

    Worrying about "odds" here is like having better odds to hit the Powerball jackpot instead of the Mega Millions. Yeah, they're technically better, but does it really matter?

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    Lion is shorter, so I think you have your best chance at your only hope, which is jamming your thumbs in their eye sockets.

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    Lion for sure and go for the eyes. better odds than others.
    Gorilla will not only kill you but will buttfuck you while you're still breathing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dunny View Post
    Polar bear can take down a Grizzly, and despite what Captain Planet says above, population is doing better than fine.

    I'll go with Lion.
    I saw glaciers in Iceland. global warming is real

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pete View Post
    Fight location wasn't specified. ;-)
    yeah, i probably am overthinking this. but in a zoo they’re not as daunting. they’ll still probably kill you but you’re getting a different version of the beast
    "We're all f*cked. It helps to remember that." - George Carlin

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    Polar Bear. He looks the friendliest.
    Lias Andersson for #AJT2019

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dunny View Post
    Polar bear can take down a Grizzly, and despite what Captain Planet says above, population is doing better than fine.

    I'll go with Lion.
    Captain planet? All counter with, we all know you never step foot in Africa.

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    When I want that authentic African experience, I just go to Brooks, Alberta.

    Canadian Proverb:

    "The wife told me to kiss her where it stinks, so I took her to Brooks."

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    For everyone picking lion, have you ever been clawed by a cat? Imagine that x50, no thanks.

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    Have you ever been drawn and quartered? That's how I imagine death by Gorilla is.

    The bear will just eat you piece by piece. Maybe even keep you alive so you're fresh for a couple weeks.

    I'll take the cat.

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    The point is that no option is a good one. I'm going lion too, for the record. Polar bear is guaranteed death over a long, drawn out period of time in which it'll likely eat you legs first. Fuck. That. The gorilla won't just kill you, but might violate you in the process. Double. Fuck. That.

    At the very least, if/when the lion gets the best of me, it's one or two good chomps before it finds my carotid, and ends me quick.
    "Everyone says you should be a good loser. If youíre a good loser, youíre a loser."
    - John Tortorella


    "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence."
    - Christopher Hitchens

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