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Update 5/14/17:

 

- Ryan Getzlaf - Petr Prucha's Return to Glory

Chris Kreider - Auston Matthews - Wayne Simmonds

Antoine Roussel - Ryan O'Reilly presented by Tim Horton's -

Scott "Hulk" Hartnell - Ryan Kesler - Tom Wilson

 

extra: Jarom?r J?gr, Andrew Shaw

 

P.K. Subban - Ryan McDonagh

Shea Weber - Mark Giordano

Radko Gudas - Kevin Shattenkirk

 

extra: Stu Bickel

 

Henrik Lundqvist

Jonathan "on Nelson Mandela" Bernier

 

--

 

New Head Coach: Chris Pronger

Assistant Coach: Justin Bieber living in perpetual fear

 

--

 

Out:

 

Steve Downie – Retired

David Clarkson – LTIRetirement

Zac Rinaldo – Sent to minors

Mike Smith – Sent to minors

Daniel Carcillo – Retired; First ballot APT Hall of Famer

Braydon Coburn – Sent to minors

Claude Giroux – Traded for AM34

Dion Phaneuf – Fuck the Sens

Chris Neil – Sent to minors

 

In:

Alex Radulov — From Russia with love

Matthew Tkachuk — Elbowed his way onto the first line

Auston Matthews — GLG!

Tom Wilson — Check ya head

Radko Gudas — Clotheslined Giroux right off the team

Kevin Shattenkirk — Hammer of Kirk 2017

 

See post #62

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  • 11 months later...
  • 1 year later...

Somehow my unfinished alumni team (post 05) leaked on the Internet

 

Filatov - Datsyuk - Tuomo Ruutu

Prucha - Mike Richards - Chris Stewart

Avery - Lombardi - Hartnell

Artyukhin - Betts - Scott Walker

Lisin

 

Pronger - Exelby

Robidas - Volchenkov

Doug Murray - MA Bergeron

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  • 2 years later...

Badly needed update as of 4/13/22:

 

Starting Lineup:

 

Chris Kreider A 🇺🇸 - Auston Matthews 🇺🇸 - Matthew Tkachuk 🇺🇸
Artemi Panarin - Mika Zibanejad 🎧A - Tom Wilson
Mats Zuccarello 🦡 - Josh Norris - Ryan Hartman 🖕
Milan Lucic - Barclay Goodrow - Tanner Jeannot

 

Ryan McDonagh - Adam Fox
K'Andre Miller - Jacob Trouba C
Radko Gudas - Braden Schneider 👶🦈 🎶

 

Igor Shesterkin 🧱

 

Healthy Scratches: Kevin Rooney, Ryan Reaves 👊, Petr Prucha 🐐, Erik Gudbranson

 

--

 

OUT:

 

Ryan Getzlaf — Retired; First ballot APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22
Scott Hartnell — Retired; First ballot APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22
Shea Weber — Retired; First ballot APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22
Henrik Lundqvist — Retired; First ballot APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22
Stu Bickel — Retired; APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22

 

Ryan Kesler — Retired

Jaromir Jagr — Old; Still GOAT tho
Wayne Simmonds — Old
Antoine Roussel — Old
Jonathan Bernier — Old
Alexander Radulov — Old
Andrew Shaw — Old
Mark Giordano — Old

Ryan O'Reilly — Norris took his job
P.K. Subban — No Devils allowed; Get into broadcasting already
Kevin Shattenkirk — Bought out; Sucks, actually

 

--

 

IN:

 

Mika Zibanejad — Room DJ, sick flow
Ryan Hartman — Middle finger
Mats Zuccarello — Honey badger forever
Milan Lucic — Need that 4L snarl
Artemi Panarin — Duh
Kevin Rooney — Gotta have heart
Jacob Trouba — Daddy Trouba
Braden Schneider — Ba-by Trou-ba do do dodododo
Adam Fox — Fucks
K'Andre Miller — Also fucks
Barclay Goodrow — Money bag
Ryan Reaves — Fist
Josh Norris — American POW currently held captive with Ottawa Prisoners
Erik Gudbranson — Vet graybeard 7D
Tanner Jeannot

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1 hour ago, Phil said:

Badly needed update as of 4/13/22:

 

Starting Lineup:

 

Chris Kreider A 🇺🇸 - Auston Matthews 🇺🇸 - Matthew Tkachuk 🇺🇸
Artemi Panarin - Mika Zibanejad 🎧A - Tom Wilson
Mats Zuccarello 🦡 - Josh Norris - Ryan Hartman 🖕
Milan Lucic - Barclay Goodrow - Tanner Jeannot

 

Ryan McDonagh - Adam Fox
K'Andre Miller - Jacob Trouba C
Radko Gudas - Braden Schneider 👶🦈 🎶

 

Igor Shesterkin 🧱

 

Healthy Scratches: Kevin Rooney, Ryan Reaves 👊, Petr Prucha 🐐, Erik Gudbranson

 

--

 

OUT:

 

Ryan Getzlaf — Retired; First ballot APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22
Scott Hartnell — Retired; First ballot APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22
Shea Weber — Retired; First ballot APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22
Henrik Lundqvist — Retired; First ballot APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22
Stu Bickel — Retired; APT Hall-of-Famer, class of '22

 

Ryan Kesler — Retired

Jaromir Jagr — Old; Still GOAT tho
Wayne Simmonds — Old
Antoine Roussel — Old
Jonathan Bernier — Old
Alexander Radulov — Old
Andrew Shaw — Old
Mark Giordano — Old

Ryan O'Reilly — Norris took his job
P.K. Subban — No Devils allowed; Get into broadcasting already
Kevin Shattenkirk — Bought out; Sucks, actually

 

--

 

IN:

 

Mika Zibanejad — Room DJ, sick flow
Ryan Hartman — Middle finger
Mats Zuccarello — Honey badger forever
Milan Lucic — Need that 4L snarl
Artemi Panarin — Duh
Kevin Rooney — Gotta have heart
Jacob Trouba — Daddy Trouba
Braden Schneider — Ba-by Trou-ba do do dodododo
Adam Fox — Fucks
K'Andre Miller — Also fucks
Barclay Goodrow — Money bag
Ryan Reaves — Fist
Josh Norris — American POW currently held captive with Ottawa Prisoners
Erik Gudbranson — Vet graybeard 7D
Tanner Jeannot

Did you get laid off?

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1 minute ago, Phil said:

 

Did you get laid?

 

Probably the same answer.

Just trying to figure out how you have this much time on your hands in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday. 

Edited by Pete
  • Bullseye 1
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1 minute ago, Pete said:

Just trying to figure out how you have this much time on your hands in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday. 

 

That took like twelve minutes, LMAO.

 

But yes, slow day today. Already knocked out everything I needed to earlier.

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