Holy sh*t Sid's gonna be a dad!!!

I dunno, I have three kids, I work the job I want, and pay for all their lives, and in return, I get laid regularly, and I'm golfing every weekend. Piece of piss.

 

There is a manual for this success, just watch "A Handmaid's Tale" for step by step instructions, and threaten her that you're thinking of going full Mennonite.

 

Life is good.

Lmao she loves that show so this will go over well

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With who? How do you keep it secret?

Hey, I know you have a young one, just give it some time, say, three or four, or six, years. She'll be back.

Congrats. My son was just born a couple of days ago.

My advice so far: plan all you want, but shit never goes to plan. Be flexible.

First off, congrats on the sex.

Lots of good advice here - I'll throw in my two cents:

• You will never rely on the strength of ties more than you will in the first two years. If you live far from grandparents, aunts/uncles/whomever who can help out, fix that. We made the mistake of moving further away - do not do that. It will fucking suck.
  
• Plan your leave if you have it. If we ever have a second (and if we do, you bet your ass I'm disconnecting the weaponry), I would not at all plan to take leave overlapping with my wife. I'd take the first few days, sure, but I'd ensure that I'm taking any remaining days on the back-end of her leave. It's more time to sort life out, more time you get to spend, and usually by 3 months or so, they're starting to warm up to dad as much as mom. The first few weeks are jarring from a sleep perspective, but also some of the easiest you'll have on a day-to-day basis because they really just sleep, eat, pee, and cry - mostly the first two - plus you've got the wave of "oh my gawd look at the bay beeeeee" folks coming by.
  
• Seriously, don't buy clothes. You'll get so much from people, hand-me-downs are fine, and baby/toddler clothes are notoriously hard to re-sell, so it's actually pretty common to see folks giving away piles of toddler clothes in buynothing groups and the like. Actually, just join a buynothing group - you'll be swimming in as much baby stuff as you want.
  
• Hunt for daycare. Like, now. Daycare is fucking bonkers, and in many cases, you need to let them know you need a spot as you're plowing your lady.
  
• Find a family doctor that makes you feel good about not being perfect, because you won't be. A good family doctor is going to check on you as well as the kids - they'll screen mom for postpartum, give you guidance - they're indispensable.
  
• Ray just said it, but be flexible. Nothing is going to go perfectly - if you have to go to bottles, do it. If your wife needs to pump, be supportive and make the space. Shit - do bottles, whether breast milk or formula, because they're a really good way to establish that Dad can provide the basics too and start the father/child bond.
  
• Have a plan for handling night time wakeups. I've always been a night owl, my wife is more of an "early to bed, early to rise", so she'd handle the 8PM feeding, I'd handle midnight, and she'd handle the 5am. As that dropped to two - she had the morning, I had the evening. And for the love of god, if you are woken up and you jab your wife and go "it's your turn", you're an asshole. Don't do that (and vice versa)
  
• Most of the baby shit you'll buy doesn't matter, but the two items I'd say really do are a crib and a stroller (especially if you're a walker). Cribs can be purchased to convert to toddler beds and eventually twin/full - that's a pretty decent bang-for-your-buck and helps breed comfort. Strollers - you feel the difference between a shitty stroller and a good one, especially if you walk a lot. That's a five year investment - more if you plan on having more kids. Higher end ones, while definitely pricier, also do fantastic customer service and will replace parts without much of a fight.

Wife says:

"Tell your friend I’ll try to think of anything specific that’ll be helpful, but not to go crazy with reading up before baby. There’s tons of books, many specific to the authors views or their research, but a simple What To Expect could help them start thinking about what will happen throughout pregnancy and after. Also, Ina May’s guide to childbirth was the only book I read to prepare me for that, and it made me so calm about it that I went to sleep after my water broke and didn’t freak out haha."

 

 

I don't know what spirit or godly entity thought that this was a good idea but we found out last week that the wife is preggers- around the 7-8 week mark at this point- still early. After freaking out for a few days I sat down and started doing a little bit of planning only to realize I don't know the first thing about babies. I have never been around one for more than a few minutes at a time and have never been alone with one never the less took care of one. So of course I am doing the responsible thing and asking the internet (here's a random thought.. i was 12ish when I started posting on the original Rangers forum and now I am having my own kid wtf).

 

So gentlemen lay it on me.. what the hell am I in for?

 

Anyone have an good recommendations on books to learn about pregnancy/baby care?

 

Any must have baby product recommendations that will make life a lot easier? Seems like theres as ton of stuff out there but I assume most of it will not end up getting used.

 

How the hell does insurance work in this instance? Her doc is in-network and so is the hospital technically but the caveat is that at the time of birth which ever doctor is available will do the delivery- Do I pay out of network charges on this? :confused:

 

Looking at immediately opening some sort of savings account once I am able to... leaning towards doing an UGMA/UTMA custodial account vs. a 529 (what if they need money for stuff other than school down the line?) anyone have any input on this?

 

Any advice from the dads on here?

The first 3 months are trash. Pure garbage. Then it gets better, they sleep through the night, etc.

Congrats on all of it to come and how it will change you (positively) in ways you never imagined. The love you will feel when that child comes is amazing if not even overwhelming. Baby’s breath is something to experience - it’s real.

Sleep? If your baby doesn’t sleep well or nap (some do, our first did not) you will both be exhausted. Nap when you can. I put my head on my desk and slept 20-30 just about every day before going home.

529? The NYS fund had stratosphere returns like near 15% and it added up to a very helpful sum. Shockingly helpful. Read the details as they have become more liberal in ‘use of funds’ like tuition, room and board, books, just about anything education related. Unless you think high school is it, very likely your child will have some kind of college or technical school costs. We used a Barclays Bank MasterCard tied to the 529 for cash-back contributions and wow did that add up too. Plus, you can invite family to tie their CC cards (any kind) to your child’s 529 so anytime they buy gas or groceries that cash-back goes to your child. The money will grow like magic.

Family and (some) friends will be more than willing to buy you stuff. Let them and thank them. Start planning the massive yard sale you will have in 10-15 years. LOL

Vasectomy is a good tool for your tool. No, the nurse does not help you get a sample post-op to see if it worked. That’s a self-service detail. Don’t worry, most guys are good at it.

Good luck man. Being a dad is fantastic.

Don't buy a shit ton of baby clothes. They grow out fast and I have found it people's favorite thing to just randomly buy or give you so you collect them that way too. Not saying don't buy a few items that you love (Rangers onesie???), but we have a bucket of clothes we didn't/couldn't even use

ive made a habit of, when friends/family have babies, buying them clothes/diapers/other needs that are a size up. the new born size will be worthless pretty quick, and literally everyone will buy newborn onesies

Reading this thread is worse than watching that leg drop to the bottom of the ocean, when I first watched Jaws back when I was 8 years old!! :rofl:

"The Official Ozzy Anti Christ Thread"

I gotta admit though, you guys are a true help for Nashty!! Great stuff, fellas!!! ;)

ive made a habit of, when friends/family have babies, buying them clothes/diapers/other needs that are a size up. the new born size will be worthless pretty quick, and literally everyone will buy newborn onesies

Yup - and if someone asks you what clothes to get later on - tell them to get you a size or two up. We had some tangentially close family ask us what clothes he's missing and we just told them to buy two or three sizes up - got like 18 months use+ of their gifts.

Congrats. My son was just born a couple of days ago.

 

My advice so far: plan all you want, but shit never goes to plan. Be flexible.

Congrats dude! Exciting times.

I have to be flexible. We literally have to find a place to live and figure out my wifes job situation on top of her being pregnant. At this point flexible is our motto.

First off, congrats on the sex.

 

Lots of good advice here - I'll throw in my two cents:

 

• You will never rely on the strength of ties more than you will in the first two years. If you live far from grandparents, aunts/uncles/whomever who can help out, fix that. We made the mistake of moving further away - do not do that. It will fucking suck.
  
• Plan your leave if you have it. If we ever have a second (and if we do, you bet your ass I'm disconnecting the weaponry), I would not at all plan to take leave overlapping with my wife. I'd take the first few days, sure, but I'd ensure that I'm taking any remaining days on the back-end of her leave. It's more time to sort life out, more time you get to spend, and usually by 3 months or so, they're starting to warm up to dad as much as mom. The first few weeks are jarring from a sleep perspective, but also some of the easiest you'll have on a day-to-day basis because they really just sleep, eat, pee, and cry - mostly the first two - plus you've got the wave of "oh my gawd look at the bay beeeeee" folks coming by.
  
• Seriously, don't buy clothes. You'll get so much from people, hand-me-downs are fine, and baby/toddler clothes are notoriously hard to re-sell, so it's actually pretty common to see folks giving away piles of toddler clothes in buynothing groups and the like. Actually, just join a buynothing group - you'll be swimming in as much baby stuff as you want.
  
• Hunt for daycare. Like, now. Daycare is fucking bonkers, and in many cases, you need to let them know you need a spot as you're plowing your lady.
  
• Find a family doctor that makes you feel good about not being perfect, because you won't be. A good family doctor is going to check on you as well as the kids - they'll screen mom for postpartum, give you guidance - they're indispensable.
  
• Ray just said it, but be flexible. Nothing is going to go perfectly - if you have to go to bottles, do it. If your wife needs to pump, be supportive and make the space. Shit - do bottles, whether breast milk or formula, because they're a really good way to establish that Dad can provide the basics too and start the father/child bond.
  
• Have a plan for handling night time wakeups. I've always been a night owl, my wife is more of an "early to bed, early to rise", so she'd handle the 8PM feeding, I'd handle midnight, and she'd handle the 5am. As that dropped to two - she had the morning, I had the evening. And for the love of god, if you are woken up and you jab your wife and go "it's your turn", you're an asshole. Don't do that (and vice versa)
  
• Most of the baby shit you'll buy doesn't matter, but the two items I'd say really do are a crib and a stroller (especially if you're a walker). Cribs can be purchased to convert to toddler beds and eventually twin/full - that's a pretty decent bang-for-your-buck and helps breed comfort. Strollers - you feel the difference between a shitty stroller and a good one, especially if you walk a lot. That's a five year investment - more if you plan on having more kids. Higher end ones, while definitely pricier, also do fantastic customer service and will replace parts without much of a fight.

Good stuff here thanks man. Thankfully we decided to live in NY (and buy a home in the very near future in NY) for exactly that reason. Between my mom and my mother in law we will never have to pay for day care.

I definitely have to figure out the time off stuff- thankfully my company is Canadian and I THINK their paternal leave is a bit better than most US companies. Good advice on not over lapping too much though I think after the baby my wife may be a stay at home mom for a bit.

Already started looking for a pediatrician - Did not even know "family doctor" was a thing tbh

Great advice I appreciate it

Wife says:

 

"Tell your friend I’ll try to think of anything specific that’ll be helpful, but not to go crazy with reading up before baby. There’s tons of books, many specific to the authors views or their research, but a simple What To Expect could help them start thinking about what will happen throughout pregnancy and after. Also, Ina May’s guide to childbirth was the only book I read to prepare me for that, and it made me so calm about it that I went to sleep after my water broke and didn’t freak out haha."

Yea thats more in line with what I am looking for - I've got a few audio books on "raising kids" which I will probably listen to while driving but I wanted a "what to expect" book more than anything else. I have no idea when babies start walking, talking, etc.. so would be good to read up on it.

From the day the baby is born, start counting down every day from 90.

 

The first 3 months are trash. Pure garbage. Then it gets better, they sleep through the night, etc.

That is the impression I am getting. We definitely have to come up with a plan for getting some sleep.

Congrats. My son was just born a couple of days ago.

 

My advice so far: plan all you want, but shit never goes to plan. Be flexible.

Congrats, enjoy it, welcome to the club too!

Run!

I have briefly thought about it.

Congrats on all of it to come and how it will change you (positively) in ways you never imagined. The love you will feel when that child comes is amazing if not even overwhelming. Baby’s breath is something to experience - it’s real.

 

Sleep? If your baby doesn’t sleep well or nap (some do, our first did not) you will both be exhausted. Nap when you can. I put my head on my desk and slept 20-30 just about every day before going home.

 

529? The NYS fund had stratosphere returns like near 15% and it added up to a very helpful sum. Shockingly helpful. Read the details as they have become more liberal in ‘use of funds’ like tuition, room and board, books, just about anything education related. Unless you think high school is it, very likely your child will have some kind of college or technical school costs. We used a Barclays Bank MasterCard tied to the 529 for cash-back contributions and wow did that add up too. Plus, you can invite family to tie their CC cards (any kind) to your child’s 529 so anytime they buy gas or groceries that cash-back goes to your child. The money will grow like magic.

 

Family and (some) friends will be more than willing to buy you stuff. Let them and thank them. Start planning the massive yard sale you will have in 10-15 years. LOL

 

Vasectomy is a good tool for your tool. No, the nurse does not help you get a sample post-op to see if it worked. That’s a self-service detail. Don’t worry, most guys are good at it.

 

Good luck man. Being a dad is fantastic.

Thanks man! I am excited and not going to lie probably more scared than I have ever been in my life about anything. One thing for sure is that it will be a hell of an experience.

Yea there are pro's and cons to the 529. That 15% return sounds amazing but I hate the idea of limiting it to school stuff. I was actually considering doing a custodial investment account on my end and having the grand parents partner up on the 529 since neither will likely be able to contribute more than a few bucks at a time anyway. From what I am reading this may help with FAFSA related stuff anyway because the grandparents dont affect how much you get from FAFSA. Good stuff though thanks for the input.

LMAO - My poor "tool" finally did what it was born to do and were already talking about putting it away.

ive made a habit of, when friends/family have babies, buying them clothes/diapers/other needs that are a size up. the new born size will be worthless pretty quick, and literally everyone will buy newborn onesies

We do this as gifts as well- will def. make a note of asking people if we can.

Reading this thread is worse than watching that leg drop to the bottom of the ocean, when I first watched Jaws back when I was 8 years old!! :rofl:

 

"The Official Ozzy Anti Christ Thread"

 

I gotta admit though, you guys are a true help for Nashty!! Great stuff, fellas!!! ;)

Yes they are and I truly appreciate it.

Yup - and if someone asks you what clothes to get later on - tell them to get you a size or two up. We had some tangentially close family ask us what clothes he's missing and we just told them to buy two or three sizes up - got like 18 months use+ of their gifts.

Good stuff thanks man

Congrats Sid!

You've got a ton of good advice so far.

Few things that worked for me:

1. When possible, sleep when the baby sleeps.

2. If you can stomach it, let the baby "cry it out" when they are old enough to sleep through the night.

3. Swaddling worked very well for us, I would try it.

4. You'll experience three different states of mind: your wife is stressed but you aren't, you're stressed but your wife isn't, you're both stressed. Be able to communicate this and help each other. When you're both stressed, it's time to call in a favor if you can. If you're both not stressed, congratulations on your child's college graduation.

5. The saying the days are long but the years are fast is 100% true.

Congrats Sid!

 

You've got a ton of good advice so far.

 

Few things that worked for me:

 

1. When possible, sleep when the baby sleeps.

 

2. If you can stomach it, let the baby "cry it out" when they are old enough to sleep through the night.

 

3. Swaddling worked very well for us, I would try it.

 

4. You'll experience three different states of mind: your wife is stressed but you aren't, you're stressed but your wife isn't, you're both stressed. Be able to communicate this and help each other. When you're both stressed, it's time to call in a favor if you can. If you're both not stressed, congratulations on your child's college graduation.

 

5. The saying the days are long but the years are fast is 100% true.

:rofl:

I am not big on naps but something tells me I am going to have to start getting used to taking them.

Thanks!