Mike Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 I have to roast my boss in 2 weeks. He's aware of the birthday party, but unaware that it's a roast. I have to take up about 5 minutes. I have about 2:30 so far. I'll take all jokes for the following topics: Cheap Bald Fat Ugly Messy I'll apply the best ones, and maybe even change some of mine. I'll post my whole roast when I finish it. GO !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunny Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 How many kids does he have? I saw a meme of a dude with like 13 kids and the caption was "This guy couldn't pull out of a parking space." would probably work with 4+ kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunny Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 What's his ethnicity? The bit about 2 Dutch guys inventing copper wire by fighting over a penny is a classic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Just do a bunch of "you the type of n*** jokes" Like "you the type of n**** to ask for a wine menu at olive garden" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 What's his ethnicity? The bit about 2 Dutch guys inventing copper wire by fighting over a penny is a classic. Italian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphinity 2.0 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Finish with "And I couldn't think of a bald joke... Besides you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abe Froman Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 Finish with "And I couldn't think of a bald joke... Besides you." This is gold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 Old school: A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy". The man says, "I want a second opinion!" The doctor says "Okay, you're ugly too!" - Henny Youngman. You can change "A man" to your bosses name. Hahaha he probably knows that joke if it came from Youngman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYRangers92 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Find a pair of those sunglasses old people get after cataract surgery and say something like, "I need to put these on so I don't go blind looking at you". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phillyb Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 my boss is so cheap, he brings his own shampoo to the motel... and he's fucking bald. [turn to boss] i can only imagine what you do with that shampoo, fat ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Mike's gonna be in the jobs thread soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphinity 2.0 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Mike's gonna be in the jobs thread soon. :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abe Froman Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 Mike's gonna be in the jobs thread soon. Not if I use any of these jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abe Froman Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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