You've Just Written the Most Annoying Computer Virus Ever; What Does it Do?

Stealing this from reddit, becasue it's got potential for gut-busting humor.

 

Let 'em rip!

Space bar reboots the computer

I'm thinking make it so the mouse cursor is always pointing like five pixels off where you think it's pointing. Maybe ten, and probably on the Y axis. Imagine the rage every time someoene presses "send" or "post".

 

Also, I can't take credit for this one, but "Posts all your Google searches to Facebook" had me in tears. :rofl:

What if it lowered your screen resolution by 1% every day or so.

Another Facebook related, idea... have every post automatically include ", bruh" when the user clicks submit.

 

"Man, it's really snowing out there" becomes "Man, it's really snowing out there, bruh".

 

This post from Gawker?

 

"In December of 1981, author Paul Theroux spent a week journeying through the NYC subway system, writing eloquently about what he saw."

 

Look at it now: "In December of 1981, author Paul Theroux spent a week journeying through the NYC subway system, writing eloquently about what he saw, bruh."

Virus that randomly and drastically changes your volume levels.

Continuously prompts people to purchase Windows 10

X and Y axis inversion of all mouse movement with randomization of left and right clicks after each click. Also, each scroll reverses the direction of the next scroll.

triple clicking automatically opens a porno

Virus that randomly and drastically changes your volume levels.

 

My old roommate once did this to his girlfriend by using terminal to access her machine, and when she was on Facebook too long he'd send a command that would make the computer speak out loud "get off Facebook!" Or whatever he told it to say. She couldn't control it. It was hilarious. At first, she thought someone hacked her. Eventually she put two and two together.

 

He used to fuck with her volume too when she'd play music he didn't like. He'd quit iTunes randomly, etc.

Any website you try to visit automatically brings you here

All images replaced by this:

 

I'd send Pete permanent floating Dylan McIlrath faces as his screen saver.

I'd send Pete permanent floating Dylan McIlrath faces as his screen saver.

And you'd get Lundqvist making impossible saves to cover his fuck ups.

I had total remote control over my ex's computer for about an 18 month period around 2002 or so. It was amazing. The simplest virus with a user friendly interface to control it with anybody remember it? It was pretty popular in college around that time.

Caused you to RT every post by martin shkreli

I put one on my coworker's computer that was hilarious and really harmless. Basically it was a batch file that was hidden in the startup folder that would prompt the CD drive to open every 2 minutes. After restarting the computer it would drop down to every one minute, after than every 30 seconds. So when he eventually figured it out he removed it which set off a new sequence that would mess with his peripheral drivers. Basically it covertly would activate/deactivate mouse and keyboard so he went through a bunch of batteries and then tried wired mouse and keyboard but it still went on. Really dumb stuff that just annoyed the crap out of him.

 

One of the best I have seen is one that automatically re-directs all your shortcuts No matter what the icon is or whatever is says it is associated with it redirects to a url or your choosing, or if you are on a domain it can redirect to a video or audio file set to autoplay. In an open office setting it can interesting depending on where you set the link.

Here's one specially for your Phil: a virus for forum admins that instantly unbans every account you've ever banned.

Have this happen every time you hit a key on the keyboard:

Here's one specially for your Phil: a virus for forum admins that instantly unbans every account you've ever banned.

 

Yikes.