Page 8 of 11 FirstFirst ... 678910 ... LastLast
Results 141 to 160 of 204

Thread: Embarrassing Life Stories

  1. #141
    The Dolphin Whisperer BSBH Rookie
    Morphinity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    28,358
    Rep Power
    352
    Jesus FUCKING Christ.

  2. #142
    Clean Slate, Grab It! NYR BSBH Prospect
    Johnnydollaz18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    15,595
    Rep Power
    41
    Damnnnn, Pete, that's fucking nutssss.

  3. #143
    Keep your fkin head up BSBH Rookie
    Mikey37's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    29,203
    Rep Power
    280
    Was she hot ?
    Hidden Content
    $1080 and counting

  4. #144
    Former Moderator BSBH Legend
    Pete's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    74,851
    Rep Power
    438
    Quote Originally Posted by Mikey37 View Post
    Was she hot ?
    She was not. She was sexy, in a weird way, but not for me.

  5. #145
    Resident Garbage Clown BSBH Prospect
    Dunny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    10,898
    Rep Power
    196
    hahahaha.. that's awesome.

  6. #146
    Keep your fkin head up BSBH Rookie
    Mikey37's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    29,203
    Rep Power
    280
    Quote Originally Posted by Pete View Post
    She was not. She was sexy, in a weird way, but not for me.
    I know what you mean. I have a list of things that could be done to those types.
    Hidden Content
    $1080 and counting

  7. #147
    Senior Member Bantam Division
    jjweimar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Geneseo, NY
    Posts
    1,187
    Rep Power
    22
    I have a semi embarrassing hockey story, we were playing another team on the island and they had one player that was just absolutely ripping the league apart. In the first two minutes of the game (we are about 10-12 at this point), he ripped a slap shot off the crossbar and in. After that, my coach told me, no matter where he goes on the ice you don't leave his side. It got to the point during the game where it was okay, the puck was in our offensive zone, i'd stay in the neutral zone with him. At one point while the puck was in the offensive zone, so he's playing on the defensive side...he decides to leave the zone completely and skate in his offensive zone to see if I would follow. Well I stayed with him the entire time and the other team, their parents are yelling at me booing me and just creating a chaos. I've never heard so many profanities to a child in my life and I was just doing what my coach said. Well late in the third it's 1-1, and he is pissed they aren't winning because he was averaging about like 3 goals a game at least. Well I slashed him in the back of the leg at some point, and as we're skating up ice he cross checks me away from the puck like the neutral zone and he gets caught (parents really didn't like me at this point) While he's in the box I scored the game winner and after the game I had to get escorted out by my teams parents because there were parents threatening me and throwing things at me. This is back when I played for Green Machine.

  8. #148
    Very Large Member BSBH Prospect
    Vodka Drunkenski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    13,745
    Rep Power
    112
    Quote Originally Posted by Pete View Post
    Last year, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, a few people from my (then) job went out for drinks because we were given Wednesday off. So, night goes on and I find myself adequately shit-faced, and the last one there, with 2 women who work in another department, but I know pretty well. One of them is completely annihilated, catatonic, basically. It's about 11:30, I decide I need to go. I run to the bathroom, come back out, the less-drunk woman has her coat on and is like "I'm out, see you later." "I'm like, what about your girl over there. She's fucked." She tells me put her in a cab, the woman lives like 5 blocks away. So, I hail the cab, the cabbie refuses to take her anywhere because she's fucking bombed. I try to get her out of the cab, she head-butts me right in the eye. Hard. At this point, I'm pissed. I need to get my bag from work, she won't even walk. She's laying on the floor, laughing. But I can't just leave her in Madison Square Park, right? I grab her bag, throw her arm over my shoulder and carry her through the park and back to the office. We walk in, get off the elevator and she says "Going to my office". So I go to my office, grab my bag, and head down to her office. Mind you, at this point it's 12:30-1am. My wife (8 months preggo at the time) is texting me, calling me, my phone is almost dead. I tell her I'm staying with my boss at his sister's place in the city. I go back down to get this chick from her office, she's gone. Nowhere to be found in the whole office. Her bag, phone, wallet and shit are still there. I go and ask the security guard if he saw anyone leave, he says yea, 20 mins ago. So I'm like, fuck this, I'm leaving. I go back upstairs to get my shit and realize...I'm the last one who saw her. She could say anything, and anything could happen to her, and I have her bag, wallet, etc. She could say I raped her, she could say I roofied her, she can say anything, and what if she's passed out in the street somewhere? This is bad. I call my wife (it's like 2:30am), she's PISSED. She has to drive in to get me because the next train isn't until 4am. I tell her what happened. She's like "Call your boss, this is fucked up." I look at my phone and none of my contacts are there. At some point, I'd put my password in wrong so many times (because clearly, I was completely smashed myself) and the company-wide encryption kicked in and reset my phone. So I lost every contact and photo I had, on top of all this shit. I finally find my boss' cell number on the team directory, I call him (3am) "_________ Is gone." "What do you mean she's gone?" "She's gone." I tell him the whole story, and how the woman is nowhere to be found. He tells me leave her shit there, go home, it's not my problem. But I"m still freaking out. I stay up all night. The woman calls me at 7am. She walked back to her apt, fell asleep in front, and her neighbor carried her in and she slept on his couch. She's crying telling me she's so embarrassed. I tell her I'm glad she's alive, but she's fucked up. I have to go through Thanksgiving explaining the massive shiner on my eye, and why my wife isn't talking to me.
    This takes the cake
    Hidden Content

    Let's Go Rangers!

  9. #149
    Senior Member Bantam Division
    jjweimar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Geneseo, NY
    Posts
    1,187
    Rep Power
    22
    As I went through this thread and read my own stories I realized how messed up my 30 years on this planet have been and how grateful I am for it all because it's what makes you yourself. You all have great stories and I love hearing these.

  10. #150
    Resident Garbage Clown BSBH Prospect
    Dunny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    10,898
    Rep Power
    196
    Quote Originally Posted by jjweimar View Post
    I have a semi embarrassing hockey story, we were playing another team on the island and they had one player that was just absolutely ripping the league apart. In the first two minutes of the game (we are about 10-12 at this point), he ripped a slap shot off the crossbar and in. After that, my coach told me, no matter where he goes on the ice you don't leave his side. It got to the point during the game where it was okay, the puck was in our offensive zone, i'd stay in the neutral zone with him. At one point while the puck was in the offensive zone, so he's playing on the defensive side...he decides to leave the zone completely and skate in his offensive zone to see if I would follow. Well I stayed with him the entire time and the other team, their parents are yelling at me booing me and just creating a chaos. I've never heard so many profanities to a child in my life and I was just doing what my coach said. Well late in the third it's 1-1, and he is pissed they aren't winning because he was averaging about like 3 goals a game at least. Well I slashed him in the back of the leg at some point, and as we're skating up ice he cross checks me away from the puck like the neutral zone and he gets caught (parents really didn't like me at this point) While he's in the box I scored the game winner and after the game I had to get escorted out by my teams parents because there were parents threatening me and throwing things at me. This is back when I played for Green Machine.
    Someone should start one of these for hockey stories. I have a billion and 4 of those I've either experienced myself or been told about current and former NHL'ers. I have one about Link Gaetz I'm dying to tell.

  11. #151
    Very Large Member BSBH Prospect
    Vodka Drunkenski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    13,745
    Rep Power
    112
    Quote Originally Posted by jjweimar View Post
    I have a semi embarrassing hockey story, we were playing another team on the island and they had one player that was just absolutely ripping the league apart. In the first two minutes of the game (we are about 10-12 at this point), he ripped a slap shot off the crossbar and in. After that, my coach told me, no matter where he goes on the ice you don't leave his side. It got to the point during the game where it was okay, the puck was in our offensive zone, i'd stay in the neutral zone with him. At one point while the puck was in the offensive zone, so he's playing on the defensive side...he decides to leave the zone completely and skate in his offensive zone to see if I would follow. Well I stayed with him the entire time and the other team, their parents are yelling at me booing me and just creating a chaos. I've never heard so many profanities to a child in my life and I was just doing what my coach said. Well late in the third it's 1-1, and he is pissed they aren't winning because he was averaging about like 3 goals a game at least. Well I slashed him in the back of the leg at some point, and as we're skating up ice he cross checks me away from the puck like the neutral zone and he gets caught (parents really didn't like me at this point) While he's in the box I scored the game winner and after the game I had to get escorted out by my teams parents because there were parents threatening me and throwing things at me. This is back when I played for Green Machine.
    This would've been embarrassing if you followed him into the penalty box
    Hidden Content

    Let's Go Rangers!

  12. #152
    Senior Member Junior Division
    BlairBettsBlocksEverything's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    5,796
    Rep Power
    61
    Halloween freshman year of college, blackout drunk and dressed as Ricky Bobby I apparently tried to fight a guy dressed as a soldier from 300. Would have been very bad for me but luckily people stopped me.
    __________________________________

  13. #153
    Very Large Member BSBH Prospect
    Vodka Drunkenski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    13,745
    Rep Power
    112
    Quote Originally Posted by Dunny View Post
    Someone should start one of these for hockey stories. I have a billion and 4 of those I've either experienced myself or been told about current and former NHL'ers. I have one about Link Gaetz I'm dying to tell.
    Open a 30 pack, that could be a lonnnnnggggg thread
    Hidden Content

    Let's Go Rangers!

  14. #154
    Keep your fkin head up BSBH Rookie
    Mikey37's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    29,203
    Rep Power
    280
    Quote Originally Posted by Dunny View Post
    Someone should start one of these for hockey stories. I have a billion and 4 of those I've either experienced myself or been told about current and former NHL'ers. I have one about Link Gaetz I'm dying to tell.
    DOOOO IT ??? Do men's league stories count too? I can go from 10 years old to current.
    Hidden Content
    $1080 and counting

  15. #155
    Raanta and Raving BSBH Prospect
    Captain Clutch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    10,967
    Rep Power
    36
    Was with my girlfriend at seaside heights, we're playing one of the chance games and the dude is in a wheelchair, no legs. She talks about how she's from Ireland and he says "i've only been overseas once; Vietnam". and she says "oh was it lovely?"

    So cringe worthy but so funny. She went so red after he said "no,I was there for the war"

  16. #156
    a.k.a.Phildagoalie Junior Division
    Respecttheblue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    N.Y.
    Posts
    9,484
    Rep Power
    80
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Heaven View Post
    Who wants to host a meetup so we can sit around a fire and listen to Phillyb's stories?
    ha ha, that would be good
    as long as it's not malt liquor only affair
    If n ya gots jowls, they might as well be furry ones.

  17. #157
    Moderator Junior Division
    Future's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    5,657
    Rep Power
    112
    Quote Originally Posted by Mikey37 View Post
    1. That's an accident
    2. Stop buying oreos
    c'mon, I was only 12% body fat at the time.

  18. #158
    //reported Junior Division
    booze and wingz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    7,745
    Rep Power
    58
    let me tell you about how i hooked up with my ex-wife's sister, who is now a man.
    my ex-wife was a family friend at one point. her mom and my mom worked together and have been friends for like 30+ years.
    when i was 12 or 13, my family stayed with their family for about 6 weeks. the at-the-time sister and i got really drunk and we hooked up.
    at first it was just, "let's get drunk. what does this taste like?"
    but then, we started hooking up all the time.

    fast forward about 7 years, i married my ex-wife, my summer hook-up's older sister.
    also, at this point, my hook-up was a lesbian.
    now she's a man. he has started taking hormones and i believe he did some surgery, but i'm not sure which or what.

    that's the story of how i hooked up with my ex-wife's sister/brother.
    Out: Girardi, Klein, Stepan, Raanta
    In: Shattenkirk, Desharnais, Pavalec, DeAngelo/Bereglazalov/Pionk

  19. #159
    Keep your fkin head up BSBH Rookie
    Mikey37's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    29,203
    Rep Power
    280
    Quote Originally Posted by phillyb™ View Post
    let me tell you about how i hooked up with my ex-wife's sister, who is now a man.
    my ex-wife was a family friend at one point. her mom and my mom worked together and have been friends for like 30+ years.
    when i was 12 or 13, my family stayed with their family for about 6 weeks. the at-the-time sister and i got really drunk and we hooked up.
    at first it was just, "let's get drunk. what does this taste like?"
    but then, we started hooking up all the time.

    fast forward about 7 years, i married my ex-wife, my summer hook-up's older sister.
    also, at this point, my hook-up was a lesbian.
    now she's a man. he has started taking hormones and i believe he did some surgery, but i'm not sure which or what.

    that's the story of how i hooked up with my ex-wife's sister/brother.
    This sounds more like a want-ad than it does an embarrassing moment. For the record, I'm taken.
    Hidden Content
    $1080 and counting

  20. #160
    //reported Junior Division
    booze and wingz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    7,745
    Rep Power
    58
    a man after my own heart. we won't tell...
    Out: Girardi, Klein, Stepan, Raanta
    In: Shattenkirk, Desharnais, Pavalec, DeAngelo/Bereglazalov/Pionk

Page 8 of 11 FirstFirst ... 678910 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •