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Thread: Embarrassing Life Stories

  1. #21
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    This thread is already magnificent. Bravo, all of you!
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  2. #22
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    My first ever time visiting my now wife's apartment to hang out, I had to shit so bad that I had to break my rule of never doing so until you've been dating for months. Yeah, I clogged that bitch up hardcore. And she had no fucking plunger. I had to embarrassingly come out, admit I clogged it, and go BUY one from the corner store, just to come back and plunge it.
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    "Everyone says you should be a good loser. If you’re a good loser, you’re a loser."
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    "I've always said, I'd rather tame a tiger than paint stripes on a kitty cat."
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    "If someone tells me that I've hurt their feelings, I say, “I'm still waiting to hear what your point is.”"
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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rome 2.0 View Post
    My first ever time visiting my now wife's apartment to hang out, I had to shit so bad that I had to break my rule of never doing so until you've been dating for months. Yeah, I clogged that bitch up hardcore. And she had no fucking plunger. I had to embarrassingly come out, admit I clogged it, and go BUY one from the corner store, just to come back and plunge it.
    Same thing happened to me at an ex-girlfriends house. Like 6 years ago. lol Walked out with my head down, and was like, ''damnnn it'' Fucking embarrassed as hell. For the next week, anytime I went in, her brother's would be like ''Don't clog it'' ''plunger is downstairs if you need it''

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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnnydollaz18 View Post
    Same thing happened to me at an ex-girlfriends house. Like 6 years ago. lol Walked out with my head down, and was like, ''damnnn it'' Fucking embarrassed as hell. For the next week, anytime I went in, her brother's would be like ''Don't clog it'' ''plunger is downstairs if you need it''
    See, that's fucked up too. Why? Why isn't it right fucking next to the toilet?
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    "If someone tells me that I've hurt their feelings, I say, “I'm still waiting to hear what your point is.”"
    - Christopher Hitchens

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rome 2.0 View Post
    My first ever time visiting my now wife's apartment to hang out, I had to shit so bad that I had to break my rule of never doing so until you've been dating for months. Yeah, I clogged that bitch up hardcore. And she had no fucking plunger. I had to embarrassingly come out, admit I clogged it, and go BUY one from the corner store, just to come back and plunge it.
    i got one for ya...
    when i first started going out with my current gf, i was homeless. and from time to time we would get a hotel room. one time, i showed up in the room ahead of her and started the shower. i was gonna get all pretty...

    so i started the shower, but realized i had to shit. i left the shower running. the plan was to do my business quickly and hop in the shower.
    now...i didn't want the water to get extra hot, so i didn't flush.
    i diarrhea'ed all up in the toilet, hopped in the shower and then...of course she came to the room.
    immediately pops a squat and is horrified by the sight and scent of my mess.

    here we are 5 years later happily buying a condo together.
    Out: Girardi, Klein, Stepan, Raanta
    In: Shattenkirk, Desharnais, Pavalec, DeAngelo/Bereglazalov/Pionk

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puck Head View Post
    After some heated financial debate with two Prostitutes in San Fran
    I had a Pimp chase me around a few city blocks.

    But that's not the funny/jovial moment.
    That comes in the fact that when I exited the door, I hung a right, then another right, and then another right, only to find myself directly right back in front of the same door.
    You pay 25% of what we pay for hockey, and you're arguing with a hooker over $50?
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  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by phillyb™ View Post
    i got one for ya...
    when i first started going out with my current gf, i was homeless. and from time to time we would get a hotel room. one time, i showed up in the room ahead of her and started the shower. i was gonna get all pretty...

    so i started the shower, but realized i had to shit. i left the shower running. the plan was to do my business quickly and hop in the shower.
    now...i didn't want the water to get extra hot, so i didn't flush.
    i diarrhea'ed all up in the toilet, hopped in the shower and then...of course she came to the room.
    immediately pops a squat and is horrified by the sight and scent of my mess.

    here we are 5 years later happily buying a condo together.
    I hope she leaves a loaf for you when you move in.
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  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikey37 View Post
    You pay 25% of what we pay for hockey, and you're arguing with a hooker over $50?
    Two hookers

  9. #29
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    I got busted in a strangers house making toast at 2 AM completely naked. Twice.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dunny View Post
    I got busted in a strangers house making toast at 2 AM completely naked. Twice.
    What? I think these need a little more background.

  11. #31
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    It's a long story. Not caught by the law, but legitimate homeowner dodging in living room on first occasion then full sprint with 4 other naked dudes past the cruiser coming the other way during the getaway. Second time I got 5 feet in the door and place lit up like a runway. Almost drowned in neighbours pool on getaway. I never actually came anywhere close to making toast, but that was the point of the bet.

    Drunken small town shenanigans will always be my fondest memories.

  12. #32
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    I shit in an ATM vestibule once.

  13. #33
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    hahaha.. no camera?

  14. #34
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    How many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop, Dunny?

    The world may never know.

  15. #35
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    I've got too many to mention,
    at least a couple involving poop.

    But I'll give ya the time my catalytic converter went and filled the ShredVanOfSurf with noxious h2S gas after about 20 minutes — I had to drive the last 10 minutes on Ocean parkway to Gilgo Beach with my head out the driver's window to be a be to breathe. Ditto on the way home.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rome 2.0 View Post
    ...how recently?
    :rolf:
    If n ya gots jowls, they might as well be furry ones.

  16. #36
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    About a year ago I drove to work and went to get something out of trunk and ended up dropping it on the ground. Bent down to get it and completely split my work pants. Drove home got changed, came back to the office and as I stepped out of my car... tore a second pair of pants. It wasn't a very good day.
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    I was in Nashville and took a broad back to the room, my stomach started rumbling as we were getting it on, I ran to the bathroom and pissed out of my ass, when I came back out 10-15 minutes later, she was gone.
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  18. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by CreaseCrusader91 View Post
    About a year ago I drove to work and went to get something out of trunk and ended up dropping it on the ground. Bent down to get it and completely split my work pants. Drove home got changed, came back to the office and as I stepped out of my car... tore a second pair of pants. It wasn't a very good day.
    THAT'S you're embarrassing story?

    Go away.


  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missing Teeth View Post
    I was in Nashville and took a broad back to the room, my stomach started rumbling as we were getting it on, I ran to the bathroom and pissed out of my ass, when I came back out 10-15 minutes later, she was gone.

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rome 2.0 View Post
    See, that's fucked up too. Why? Why isn't it right fucking next to the toilet?
    That's what I didn't understand. Whole thing is avoided if it was.

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