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Thread: Embarrassing Life Stories

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    Embarrassing Life Stories

    Another jovial thread.

    Kind of self-explanatory, but in case it's not clear, just use this thread to share a jovial/funny moment in your life that could be considered embarrassing.

    --

    I've never in my life won a game of Clue. Ever. I hate that fucking game for exactly that reason, and I get unnecessarily angry every time I play it again (family tradition with my cousins on my dads side), because as per usual, I lose.
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    "Everyone says you should be a good loser. If you’re a good loser, you’re a loser."
    - John Tortorella


    "I've always said, I'd rather tame a tiger than paint stripes on a kitty cat."
    - Dean Lombardi


    "If someone tells me that I've hurt their feelings, I say, “I'm still waiting to hear what your point is.”"
    - Christopher Hitchens

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    I once drove upstate to Cornell in the winter with a broken drivers side window and a blanket to keep me warm...............without realizing i could have turned the heat on. Total wtf duh moment.

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    I've pooped myself....twice
    __________________________________

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlairBettsBlocksEverything View Post
    I've pooped myself....twice
    ...how recently?
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    "Everyone says you should be a good loser. If you’re a good loser, you’re a loser."
    - John Tortorella


    "I've always said, I'd rather tame a tiger than paint stripes on a kitty cat."
    - Dean Lombardi


    "If someone tells me that I've hurt their feelings, I say, “I'm still waiting to hear what your point is.”"
    - Christopher Hitchens

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    once in high school. After school we were going to a movie, had taco bell before hand, ate nachos at the movie and went back to taco bell before i had to take the 1 train for about 45 minutes from 14th street to 215th. Made it to 72nd before I had to run out to the mcdonalds. Sort of made it but not compeltely

    Another time before an amtrak ride back to the city. Had a lot of food before hand and then a big coffee. Was taking a city bus and had to go. Ran in to a place, no bathroom, ran to another and got into the stall before it happened. Roommate had to bring jeans to me. This was like 4 years ago I think
    Last edited by BlairBettsBlocksEverything; 08-14-2015 at 01:32 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlairBettsBlocksEverything View Post
    once in high school. After school we were going to a movie, had taco bell before hand, ate nachos at the movie and went back to taco bell before i had to take the 1 train for about 45 minutes from 14th street to 215th. Made it to 72nd before I had to run out to the mcdonalds. Sort of made it but not compeltely

    Another time before an amtrak ride back to the city. Had a lot of food before hand and then a big coffee. Was taking a city bus and had to go. Ran in to a place, no bathroom, ran to another and got into the stall before it happened. Roommate had to bring jeans to me. This was like 4 years ago I think
    Winner. Threat done.

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    On the way home from a Rangers Sabres game in Buffalo I had to pull over on the side of the road which ended up being in the middle of the city into the back of a garage with a house right by. I had to crap on the side of the building but I didn't have toilet paper and my now wife was in the car and I tried getting her attention but ended up setting off my car alarm. She had to bring me out napkins to clean up before the hours plus drive home.

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    I instantly regret sharing this. but i guess that's what this thread is for
    __________________________________

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    I don't know if this is embarrassing in general, but it has lead me to embarrassing situations where people simply don't believe me. When I was younger (mid 20's) I was skateboarding a local bank that had a sidewalk that split two driveways. I ollied up onto it and my truck got hung on the other side. I went down hard and hit my head on the sidewalk. I lost consciousness for 15 seconds or so. When I came around, I knew where I was, who everyone was, what just happened, but I didn't know what time of year it was. I knew the year, just not what month it was.

    Since that time, I'm unable to recall almost all events that occurred prior without someone else introducing significant details to get my brain going. Like if you asked me what memories I have from high school, I'm blank. If you say, "remember that time we skipped school and went to Great Adventure" I can start to grasp some random memories from that, but it's a struggle to get to them and I can't explain it like a story from start to finish. It's more like, "yeah, I remember driving in we listened to some Zeplin. And then I remember waiting on line to get food at Nathans".

    I also have some trouble retaining new memories. It's hit or miss. I can have a conversation with you and then two days later, you can ask me if I remember the conversation I may have no recollection at all. If you start explaining the conversation, I might remember it, but again, it's in bits, out of order and I have the same kind of struggle. Then other things I remember fine.

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    After some heated financial debate with two Prostitutes in San Fran
    I had a Pimp chase me around a few city blocks.

    But that's not the funny/jovial moment.
    That comes in the fact that when I exited the door, I hung a right, then another right, and then another right, only to find myself directly right back in front of the same door.

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    I pissed on my friends dining room floor. To my defense, I thought it was the bathroom.
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    Let's Go Rangers!

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    In college, meaning to say I would beat a kid up, I said "I'd totally fuck that dude."

    Sober.

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    Now I know why I love all of you

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    Quote Originally Posted by Future View Post
    In college, meaning to say I would beat a kid up, I said "I'd totally fuck that dude."

    Sober.
    That's awesome.
    Totally fucked with his head......well played.

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    Idk if you would consider this embarrassing or funny or just a fact. A few years back I was dating this chick, Ranger fan, we went to The Flying Puck in NYC with some of her friends to watch a Ranger-Lightning game, we were both drinking a lot and she was trying to turn me on while eating dinner and drinking. Finally I couldn't resist so we went into the woman bathroom where we went in the stall and start doing you know what Going for a few minutes, nobody is in there but us at the moment, 5 minutes later a few girls come in, and all I hear is ''There's a guy in there'' "'They're actually f**king"" But that didn't stop me, few minutes later we walk out, bid the ladies in there a due, winked and walked out. lol

    Have not stepped back into The Flying Puck since then. lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlairBettsBlocksEverything View Post
    I've pooped myself....twice
    i've also shit myself at least twice in the past 6-7 years.

    the first time it happened to me i was picking up tires for my car. private seller. nice house. i was a little sick. it was a 45 minute drive from home. after putting the tires in my car, we start talking about what he's done to the car, what i've done, etc...
    i thought i had to fart.
    nope. shit. rode home in my shitty pants in my shitty car 45 minutes home.

    the next time i can't even explain. i pooped. i don't know if i thought it was a fart or what, but i was sitting on my balcony with my laptop. i pushed...
    i just shit. idk why.
    about 6 months later my gf (not current gf) asked me about the stain on the chair. i believe my exact words were, "you don't want to know." then i told her what happened.

    i also pissed in my sleep in the last four years. after a night of heavy drinking, i woke up in my bed pissing off the side...thankfully off the side and not toward my gf (current).

    i got horribly drunk one night at a party thrown by my gf's boss's friend. according to the tale, i told everyone at the party to fuck off. i threw up uncontrollably in gf's boss's winnebago. i passed out in the lawn and took a taxi home with my gf. she got fired two days later.

    oh man, i have lots of stories...embarrassing or not.
    Out: Girardi, Klein, Stepan, Raanta
    In: Shattenkirk, Desharnais, Pavalec, DeAngelo/Bereglazalov/Pionk

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    Quote Originally Posted by phillyb™ View Post
    i've also shit myself at least twice in the past 6-7 years.

    the first time it happened to me i was picking up tires for my car. private seller. nice house. i was a little sick. it was a 45 minute drive from home. after putting the tires in my car, we start talking about what he's done to the car, what i've done, etc...
    i thought i had to fart.
    nope. shit. rode home in my shitty pants in my shitty car 45 minutes home.

    the next time i can't even explain. i pooped. i don't know if i thought it was a fart or what, but i was sitting on my balcony with my laptop. i pushed...
    i just shit. idk why.
    about 6 months later my gf (not current gf) asked me about the stain on the chair. i believe my exact words were, "you don't want to know." then i told her what happened.

    i also pissed in my sleep in the last four years. after a night of heavy drinking, i woke up in my bed pissing off the side...thankfully off the side and not toward my gf (current).

    i got horribly drunk one night at a party thrown by my gf's boss's friend. according to the tale, i told everyone at the party to fuck off. i threw up uncontrollably in gf's boss's winnebago. i passed out in the lawn and took a taxi home with my gf. she got fired two days later.

    oh man, i have lots of stories...embarrassing or not.
    Serves him right for having a Winnebago

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    Who wants to host a meetup so we can sit around a fire and listen to Phillyb's stories?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Heaven View Post
    Who wants to host a meetup so we can sit around a fire and listen to Phillyb's stories?
    I'll bring the snacks.

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    When I first moved to LA I started taking boxing classes at this place in our neighborhood. It was close enough to walk but we live at the top of a hill so it's kind of a difficult walk back at the end of a strenuous work out. Anyway, for some reason my stomach started getting all messed up about half way though the work out. A few times I considered stopping so I could use the bathroom but the pain would dissipate and I would forget about it. At the end of the workout, I was getting ready to leave and the pains came back. I thought, well they'll either go away or I can make it back to the apartment, so I left and began the walk up the hill.

    About halfway up I realized I was in real trouble. It was one of those straight-legged, clenched-buttcheecks walks with hot farts that you don't know if they're a fart or diarrhea. I was in full panic mode, busting up the hill when a girl on a bike came up behind me. Now the hill is steep and hard enough to walk up, it's near impossible to ride a bike up it and she started to slow down before finally running out of steam and crashing in the street. I looked back and saw her in the street but just then my shit pains were so bad I thought I was going to lose it so I trotted away from her, across the street, and crouched behind a bush and shit in public on figueroa st.

    I was so embarrassed, I ran home when I was done and got in the elevator when to my horror the elevator stopped on P2 and the girl with the bike got in. I think we were both too embarrassed to acknowledge each other. She got off and I haven't seen her since.

    ---
    I also just wrote this at work and my boss came over right when I was finishing. I'm pretty sure she saw.
    Last edited by ThirtyONE; 08-14-2015 at 02:41 PM.
    FIRE VIGNEAULT

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