Rangers Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 We all love Hockey, most of us love jokes :).. So how about some hockey jokes? Hockey Moms At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7 year old hockey players aside and asked, Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. So," the coach continued, "I am sure you know, when a penalty is called, you should not argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, its not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb asshole, is it? Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother" Hockey Player Four women were having coffee and bragging about their children. The first woman says, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him father." The next woman tries to top her, "Really? My son married the princess of a small European country and when he walks into the room, people call him your highness!" The third woman chirps, "Well, my son is a cardinal of the church. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him your eminence!" The fourth woman is just sitting there sipping her coffee silently and the other three look at her in a subtle way, as if to say 'well...?' She smiles and says, "Oh. My son is a very large and handsome hockey player. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "OH MY GOD...!" Old Hockey Injury Sandy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Joe, noticed and asked Sandy what happened. Sandy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while." Joe, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey." Sandy, "Oh I don't play. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on the Stanley Cup play-offs. I got mad and put my foot through the television." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 The New York Islanders. Thanks, I'm here all week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vodka Drunkenski Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Someone had to say it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYRangers92 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Damnit I was gonna post it last night but forum runner wasnt working haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphinity 2.0 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 The Churanah Maple Leafs http://imgur.com/bWaLel0.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 looks like bitcoin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphinity 2.0 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 rekt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdMc28 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 looks like bitcoin :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josh Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 The Churanah Maple Leafs http://imgur.com/bWaLel0.jpg Who is Will? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphinity 2.0 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rangers Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Hahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phillyb Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rangers Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 http://www.thehockeynews.com/blog/drunk-or-not-this-referee-is-having-the-time-of-his-life/ This is even better lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vodka Drunkenski Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 A Kindergarten teacher tells her class she's a BIG Flyers fan. She's really excited about it and asks the kids if they're Flyers fans too. Everyone wants to impress the teacher and say they are too, except ONE kid named Johnny. The teacher looks at Johnny and says, "Johnny, you're not a Flyers fan?" He says "No, I'm a Rangers fan!" She says, "Well why are you a Rangers fan and not a Flyers fan?" Johnny replies, "Well, my mom is a Rangers fan, and my dad is a Rangers fan, so I'm a Rangers fan." The teacher's not real happy. She says, "Well, if your moms an idiot, and your dads a moron, then what would you be?" Johnny says, "Then I'd be a Flyers fan" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Why do Canadians like to do it doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunny Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 So we can both watch the game duh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunny Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 I have a killer "First sexual experience mixed with a Petr Nedved Hat Trick" story but I don't think this is that kind of place. hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunny Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Also.. A good one my friends and I developed in the Grey/Bruce.. Any ugly girl at the bar is a Broad 'Rindamour. They don't even realize what you'r calling them. It's fantastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Also.. A good one my friends and I developed in the Grey/Bruce.. Any ugly girl at the bar is a Broad 'Rindamour. They don't even realize what you'r calling them. It's fantastic. Hahahaha he's one ugly bastard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keirik Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Also.. A good one my friends and I developed in the Grey/Bruce.. Any ugly girl at the bar is a Broad 'Rindamour. They don't even realize what you'r calling them. It's fantastic. Or you could just call them directly by his real name here in the states since nobody knows jack shit about hockey here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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