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The Coen Brothers Game


Phil

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Take any Hollywood movie and re-direct it as though it were written and/or directed by the most miserable team in all of Hollywood — the Coen brothers, otherwise known as the only directors who refuse to have anything even remotely happy ever happen in their movies.

 

Example:

 

Cast Away as directed by the Coen brothers:

 

Plane crashes.

 

Hanks washes ashore.

 

Hanks struggles mightily to eat food and to survive the weather.

 

Hanks climbs the mountain, finds a tree limb and hangs himself from it.

 

Foster searches for him for 4 years, marries again but never loves him as much as she loved Hanks and kills herself.

 

Roll credits.

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Bambi as directed by the Cohen brothers:

 

Bambi's born.

 

Bambi's mother is killed by hunters.

 

Thumper is killed in a forest fire.

 

Bambi finds solace in a bottle and eventually drinks himself to death.

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Mighty Ducks

Banks stays a Hawk, Gordon leaves the team to Hans and goes back to the firm.

Charlie's mom is diagnosed with cancer, leading Charlie to a life of crime (remember the shit in the purse?)

Charlie begins to hang out with Peter more before being sent to Juvie for theft.

D5 dispands the following season.

Connie is a stripper, Guy dropped out, Averman disappears, Goldberg moves back to Philly.

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Take any Hollywood movie and re-direct it as though it were written and/or directed by the most miserable team in all of Hollywood — the Cohen brothers, otherwise known as the only directors who refuse to have anything even remotely happy ever happen in their movies.

 

Example:

 

Cast Away as directed by the Cohen brothers:

 

Plane crashes.

 

Hanks washes ashore.

 

Hanks struggles mightily to eat food and to survive the weather.

 

Hanks climbs the mountain, finds a tree limb and hangs himself from it.

 

Foster searches for him for 4 years, marries again but never loves him as much as she loved Hanks and kills herself.

 

Roll credits.

 

who's Foster? You mean Helen Hunt?

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Bambi as directed by the Cohen brothers:

 

Bambi's born.

 

Bambi's mother is killed by hunters.

 

Thumper is killed in a forest fire.

 

Bambi finds solace in a bottle and eventually drinks himself to death.

 

That's not Bambi, that's the projects.

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Bambi as directed by the Cohen brothers:

 

Bambi's born.

 

Bambi's mother is killed by hunters.

 

Thumper is killed in a forest fire.

 

Bambi finds solace in a bottle and eventually drinks himself to death.

 

Mighty Ducks

Banks stays a Hawk, Gordon leaves the team to Hans and goes back to the firm.

Charlie's mom is diagnosed with cancer, leading Charlie to a life of crime (remember the shit in the purse?)

Charlie begins to hang out with Peter more before being sent to Juvie for theft.

D5 dispands the following season.

Connie is a stripper, Guy dropped out, Averman disappears, Goldberg moves back to Philly.

 

:rofl:

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Mighty Ducks

Banks stays a Hawk, Gordon leaves the team to Hans and goes back to the firm.

Charlie's mom is diagnosed with cancer, leading Charlie to a life of crime (remember the shit in the purse?)

Charlie begins to hang out with Peter more before being sent to Juvie for theft.

D5 dispands the following season.

Connie is a stripper, Guy dropped out, Averman disappears, Goldberg moves back to Philly.

 

Nothing will beat this.

/thread

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Toy Story 3 by the Coen Brothers

 

Andy is going to college and considering putting his toys in the attic.

 

Toys escape and end up at Shady Acres where they're torn apart and left in pieces by small children.

 

Andy, heartbroken over the loss of them develops a drug habit in his freshman year and OD's.

 

The little girl who would have gotten the toys grows up with severe social anxiety issues and never marries.

 

Later Andy's mother finds out the Woody collectible was worth $10,000 and regrets not selling it to the guy in the chicken suit from Toy Story 2.

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