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Yahoo!: Hot Mom Defends Herself Against Facebook Haters


Pete

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A California fitness enthusiast and mother of three is defending a controversial photo of herself that has prompted a cavalcade of Facebook critics to accuse her of fat shaming women.

 

http://l1.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/wDOJskXjdS7KuNpPjxlTHQ--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTQ1MA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/lifestyles/2013-10-14/feb06a8d-e7ad-495d-8841-d859157ac54f_What-s-Your-Excuse.jpg

 

In the photo, seen at left, 32-year-old Maria Kang poses in a workout bra and matching micro shorts — revealing an incredibly toned figure with washboard abs — while surrounded by her three young sons, now 1, 3 and 4. Floating above her head is the question, “What’s your excuse?” The picture has gone viral, with more than 16 million views on Facebook, and has generated more than 12,000 comments. And while much of the input has been of the supportive “you go, girl” variety, plenty of it has been made up of angry, offended personal attacks on the photo subject, calling her everything from “obnoxious” and “fake” to a bad mom and a bully.

Kang, of Sacramento, California, is a former pageant queen and fitness competitor who founded the nonprofit Fitness Without Borders in 2007. She's also a recovering bulimic. Kang says she understands why some people reacted so defensively. “I think people struggle with their weight,” she notes. “When you add on being a mother — and the pressures we face to have it all and be everything, including fit — the expectations are so high. I think some moms saw the picture and just said, ‘This is ridiculous.’” But still, she says, “I felt really frustrated. Being called a bad mother and a bad person definitely hurts.”

 

Though she first posted the photo to her Facebook page a year ago, Kang noticed it was being shared a lot more recently and that it was generating a swell of negative comments toward her. So she reposted it to her own 72,000-plus followers, tacking on an apology — which, she admits, is really a “non-apology.”

 

“I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two businesses, have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer,” she wrote, in part. “What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue ‘hating’ this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life.”

 

That post brought a frenzy of negative responses, including, “Those precious little things need their mommy more than they need you to have glamour muscles,” “Not that I *NEED* an excuse for not working out, but here's mine you self-righteous idiot … fibromyalgia,” “You are part of the body shaming problem that is going on in North America and other parts of the world,” and “You are a bully with a super inflated sense of your own self.”

 

Many others, though, rallied in defense of Kang, with “Never apologize,” “Get a life and leave this woman alone,” and “Well done!”

 

Because of the barrage, Kang has put together a FAQ page about her personal life, with responses to many of the criticisms and accusations she’s become accustomed to hearing. For example: “Do you work?” (Yes. She owns two small residential care facilities for the elderly.) “Do you have a nanny?” (No.) “Are those your kids? They all look different.” (“I have to say this is the funniest comment I’ve read. Of course, my children look like both the mother and father,” she writes. “I am half Malaysian Chinese and Filipina. My husband is a Caucasian mix of German, French, Norwegian and Spanish. They are all my kids.”)

 

Kang says she works out five to six days a week, about an hour at a time, doing a half-hour of strength training and a half-hour of cardio — running, the stair climber, or a spin or Zumba class. She adds that, while it might seem amazing that she can fit in regular exercise while raising three kids and working, she structures her time in ways that make it all work. She watches no TV, for example, wakes up at 6 a.m., and, while she’s at the park with her children, “I’m working out. I’m not sitting there on my iPhone.” And she gets plenty of help from her husband, David Casler.

 

Casler, who suffered a traumatic brain injury during a bomb attack in Iraq, where he worked as a private security contractor, is no longer able to work. He volunteers, though, with the Team Rubicon disaster-relief organization.

 

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Completely ridiculous, IMO. This is a classic case of "Looking at you makes me feel bad about myself, so I'm going to make you feel bad." It's also a classic case of lack of self awareness and accountability. The people calling her a bully over Facebook, and posting negative comments...Is that not bullying? No one looks in the mirror anymore, and everyone wants to be a victim.

 

I don't know why I got so irritated when my wife sent this to me, but I did. It's like you're not allowed to look good anymore, because people who don't look good might get their feelings hurt.

 

And when I say look "good", it's so arbitrary. If you're happy being 300 pounds, them more power to you. But these people obviously aren't happy with themselves and choose to take it out on others.

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I read hate comments before I read/saw the story & pic. I was expecting something 100x worse than this -

 

http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/2147_stripperpolemommykids.jpg

 

just go google "Mom of the Year" pics (NSFW!!!)

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It happens more often than people think, and I think that people do it without realizing.

 

Take a cold hard look at yourself in the mirror. Are you happy with yourself? Imagine if the guy was a built man and he was standing in front of you, I'm sure most people wouldn't say shit then.

 

We call them muscleheads and brainless idiots an such. Not to their face, of course.

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Could the "What's your excuse?" Not be seen as some kind of taunting though? She looks awesome though. But I'm sure my wife would have words..

 

I dunno. I used to be in great shape.. Then I turned 20. What's my excuse? I'm married, I'm not gonna get laid anyways, so who cares. Oh, and I'm lazy. Oh, and I really like food. And beer. Plenty of excuses.

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It's condescending for someone who's job is to work out to judge other mothers in this way though. I'd suspect that if she had to be a mother and work a 9-5 as say a teacher, she wouldn't look like that. That's what fuels comments. I doubt it has anything to do with her parenting skills though, that's just other people lashing out.
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It's condescending for someone who's job is to work out to judge other mothers in this way though. I'd suspect that if she had to be a mother and work a 9-5 as say a teacher, she wouldn't look like that. That's what fuels comments. I doubt it has anything to do with her parenting skills though, that's just other people lashing out.

 

It's not her job to work out. She owns 2 businesses, and has no nanny.

 

Because of the barrage, Kang has put together a FAQ page about her personal life, with responses to many of the criticisms and accusations she’s become accustomed to hearing. For example:

“Do you work?” (Yes. She owns two small residential care facilities for the elderly.)

“Do you have a nanny?” (No.)

“Are those your kids? They all look different.” (“I have to say this is the funniest comment I’ve read. Of course, my children look like both the mother and father,” she writes. “I am half Malaysian Chinese and Filipina. My husband is a Caucasian mix of German, French, Norwegian and Spanish. They are all my kids.”)

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How the hell does she manage two businesses with no nanny, disable husband, 3 kids, and hour a day workout? I call shennenigans.

 

Yep!

 

There is definitely another thing involved that she's not diclosing.

 

Guys —*Read the article. She doesn't watch TV, she works out 1 hour a day, and I'd guarantee she doesn't eat crap, either. The type of behavior you're showing here is exactly what I'm talking about. "Well, if I can't do it, then that means you can't do it so...So you're a liar".

 

It's really just people upset with how lazy they are and how unhappy they are with themselves that means they have to tear others down to build themselves up.

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Guys —*Read the article. She doesn't watch TV, she works out 1 hour a day, and I'd guarantee she doesn't eat crap, either. The type of behavior you're showing here is exactly what I'm talking about. "Well, if I can't do it, then that means you can't do it so...So you're a liar".

 

It's really just people upset with how lazy they are and how unhappy they are with themselves that means they have to tear others down to build themselves up.

What buffles me the most is having 3 little kids with no nanny and still have time for disabled husband and 2 businesses. Not that she has time to work out.

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Guys —*Read the article. She doesn't watch TV, she works out 1 hour a day, and I'd guarantee she doesn't eat crap, either. The type of behavior you're showing here is exactly what I'm talking about. "Well, if I can't do it, then that means you can't do it so...So you're a liar".

 

It's really just people upset with how lazy they are and how unhappy they are with themselves that means they have to tear others down to build themselves up.

 

See that, I didn't read the article fully. WHAT'S MY EXCUSE?!? lol

 

Oh no Peetie, I agree with you. Although I still think she gets some undisclosed help, BUT that's only my opinion and again more power to her.

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What buffles me the most is having 3 little kids with no nanny and still have time for disabled husband and 2 businesses. Not that she has time to work out.

 

Up at 6, doesn't watch any TV, only works out an hour a day. You'd be surprised how much you can get done by not watching TV, She doesn't lead a sedentary lifestyle. She says, even when she takes her kids to the park, she doesn't sit on her phone, she stays active. I don't even stay active when I'm with Baxter at the dog park.

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